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Candid Cannons

March 18, 2016
On the field, they’re competitors. They’re Cannons, doing everything they can to blow the competition away. Off the field, they’re regular guys, with jobs, hobbies and, in some cases, celebrity look-alikes.

For our first installment of Candid Cannons, we asked: If there were a movie about your life, who would play you and what would the movie be titled?

Middie Matt Smalley didn’t have much of a choice. Already, Coach Daye and Kyle Sweeney strictly refer to him as Jesse – as in Jesse Bradford, “known for his stellar work in Swimfan and Bring It On, and possible Bring It On Again,” says Smalley. “Apparently we look alike.”

Smalley’s movie would be called Boy’s to Men’s League, a documentary looking at his grueling transition into a men’s hockey league after four years off. Hockey? Indeed, Smalley is a multi-talented athlete. The documentary would “focus mostly on the trials and tribulations of a has-been Rhode Island hockey player” trying to make it back into the big time, says Smalley.

Good luck, bro. At least if it doesn’t work out he always has lacrosse, and won’t have to turn to golf (where he might get beat up by Bob Barker)…

…or worse, figure skating.

(Although we bet Smalley secretly loves this movie.)

Matt Casey went with a more up-beat title and theme. His move would be called Udaman!!! and star Will Smith as the charismatic lead. Casey is quick to clarify which Will Smith is up to par as his film double.

“Not the modern day Will Smith though,” he says.

"I’m talking about Fresh Prince, 1992, Parents Just Don't Understand, Will Smith.”

We hear you Matt, and think you would look fly in a neon track suit traveling to away games next season. What do you say?

Finally, no Cannons celebrity look-alike story can leave out Pat Heim and his long-lost twin, Matt Damon.

There are certainly worse guys to look like. As long as Heim doesn’t let himself go, a la Damon in The Informant.

We all know Damon is a huge Boston sports guy. But forget Paul Pierce - maybe next season we can get him to watch his twin play under the lights at Harvard Stadium and get this fired up over the Cannons?!

Do you see any other celebrities on the Cannons roster? Check out their headshots here and let us know!

Also, what questions do you have for your favorite Cannons? Send them to or post them to our Facebook page and we’ll get the answers!